If you have ever been approached by your heartbroken girl friends in confidence, telling you how stupid they were for letting ONE guy ruin their lives, then you know as much as I do that it will always be the guy’s fault, even if that is not always necessarily the case. But let’s look at it through that perspective for now.
From all of those listening sessions, I can clearly say that you, as the girl, can really save yourself the trouble sometimes and be more wary of what you are getting into. So here’s a blog that talks about the 5 types of guys in relationships. It was funny when I thought of how to present this. I told a good friend of mine that I planned to put his face right beside the number of what type of guy I thought he was. Of course, he was adamant that I didn’t, because of very obvious reasons. So as tempted as I am to still do it, I will try my best not to.
So what kind of guy are you with now? Well, there are a lot of different types, but in my experience, these are the 5 most common kinds. Hopefully, after you read this, you would have figured out what kind of guy you are actually with, and whether he’s the right one for you or not. So here they are in random order:
1. The Best Friend
He’s your closest guy friend and clicks with you more than anyone you know. You laugh at the same things, you like the same movies, you listen to the same music, and he’s ever-dependable whenever you need a shoulder to cry on.
The Upside: He always has time for you, and more importantly, he listens. Not many guys know this, but women love men who listen. It’s a rather rare trait that few guys possess these days, and it’s one thing that girls subconsciously look for. When you’re ranting and crying about how bad your day has been, your best buddy is going to be right beside you making you feel better. And when you’re raving about something, he’s the first person you want to share it with. He knows you inside-out, and you could even say that he knows you better than you know yourself sometimes.
The Catch: You might fall for him. Sooner or later, you’ll realize that your best buddy is actually a dime a dozen. You’ve dated plenty of guys before but have subconsciously made him your barometer. No guy can live up to your standards, and you wonder why. You then realize that the guy you’ve been looking for has been right beside you all this time. So you try your best to pretend everyday that you can handle it, until the day you realize that you can’t. Either you end up disappearing on him, or you end up with a guy you are content with. Either way you will always wonder how life could have been, and would have been, if he just wasn’t your best friend.
2. The Player
He’s a smooth-talker whose been involved with enough women to know that you require more than just dinner and a movie to get in the mood. He has all the right moves at all the right times, and seems to know what you like even before you’ve told him. He’s confident and knows where to bring you for a good time, and by the end of the night, you’ll be wondering why you like him even when you know he’s not good for you.
The Upside: He’ll take you for a great ride. You’ll be in cloud nine for the first few weeks from all the sweet talking and wining and dining. The thrill and excitement is more than enough for you to want to spend more time with him. He’ll bring you to places you’ve never even heard of, and woo you until you fall head over heels in love with him and not want to let him go.
The Catch: You’re his flavor of the month. As he has clearly picked you out to be Miss September, your time is almost up. Some Players take more time than others, depending on how much they like you, but in the end, you will most likely get your heart broken. They make you feel like you are truly special until they see the next apple of their eye, and then leave you behind. “It just isn’t working. It’s not you, it’s me,” they say. And they end up with another hot girl, and you end up with your heart on the floor.
3. The Sentimental
He will show up with flowers and quote Neruda on a whim. Have the knack to always remember special dates and shower you with sweet out-of-the-blue surprises. He will show you the softer side of the male psyche, and make you realize that there are still guys out there who know how to treat a girl right. He will also show you the importance of a random note or a kiss in the moonlight, and make you believe in romance all over again. Think old-fashioned courtship where you’re being wooed instead of sitting by the phone wondering if he’d call.
The Upside: Finally, a guy who shows his emotions and tells you how he really feels about you. Haven’t we all been there before? You’re in this “question mark” relationship where you have no clue as to what you both are. But when you’re with a guy who is honest with his feelings, that will never be a problem. Some women tend to look for guys who are in touch with their feminine side because they are such a rare breed. They tell you exactly how they feel about you because they are comfortable with their feelings. They are not ashamed of them. You, on the other hand, feel more secure knowing exactly how your guy feels about you. And in the process, you feel better about yourself and develop a much closer and honest relationship with him.
The Catch: You might become too dependent on him. Most of these types are in for the long haul and are not likely to move in and out of relationships. They tend to be more careful which is why they invest a lot of time and effort building a strong one. They make you feel really special by giving you so much attention that you get so used to it. So you constantly look for these small special things because you slowly realize that you actually need it. You are emotionally attached to him because you know very few guys who can actually be honest with how they feel about you and make you feel this special. So if you’ve found this type of guy, it’s actually a good thing, as they can be potentially good partners.
4. The Omnipresent
He will shower you with all the attention you will ever need and make you feel like the center of the universe. Whatever it is that you want, he will do it for you. You like him because he makes you feel so loved. He’ll call you every night just to tell you to sleep tight and call you every morning just to tell you to have a nice day. He is everywhere and anywhere you dare to look.
The Upside: You’ve finally found a guy who makes you their priority. Typically guys look out for themselves more than anyone else. They love themselves so much that anything and anyone else is secondary. The kind of attention you will get here is pretty overwhelming and for girls who like it, these guys never get tired of doing it.
The Catch: You might get strangled to death. Guys who give this much attention to you are usually looking for the same kind of attention back. Everything might be all roses at first, but in the long run, women eventually get tired of guys like this. They turn out to be severely needy as time goes by, as the type of response they need from you has to be the kind of response they want and expect from you based on their standards. Anything less means that you don’t care or you don’t love them and they suddenly start getting insecure about everything. You then tire of the constant attention you’re given and you can barely breathe and you start fighting. Now, the constant good nights and have a nice days become very annoying and something you try desperately to change and avoid.
5. The In-Betweener
He is your constant. Unwavering in his friendship, he does all the necessary things that make you feel that he cares about you so much. He drives you home when you need him to, calls you when you need him to, and even does special things with you that you believe is nothing but true friendship. You trust him totally, and would just about do anything for him, and him for you.
The Upside: There is no better companion. He will always be there whenever you need him for something. He will go to your place when he feels he has to, ask you to lunch when he feels you need to, calls you to make sure you’re doing okay, and he might even ask you to go to church with him to pray (now that’s a good rhyme!). In all this, you will feel pretty darn special, and would think that he does this only with you and that it may just mean something. He’s just such a great guy, and you start caring about him so much more because of the things that you have gone through together.
The Catch: He’s afraid of commitment. After doing all those things with you and making you feel so special, there comes a point when the question of what you both are is asked. You’re kind of confused because you feel he treats you rather differently and would surmise that he might just like you. So you play around with the idea and actually realize that you actually feel something for him. And taking from his actions, you assume that he might feel the same way. But he tells you that all the things he’s been doing are normal and that he does them with his other friends too.
You’re heart-broken and don’t understand what just happened. All these special things he does for you are just normal?! And then he tells you that you shouldn’t fall for him, but his actions tell you the total opposite. No one can make any sense of it, not you, not your friends… not even him. When all else fails and everything makes no sense, maybe they just really don’t! And maybe, just maybe, the guy you’re with may not be all he says he is.